New book by Cathy Rosewell Jonas, LCSW, Coming Soon! Will be released this September 2021! 

 SUBMITTED TO PUBLISHER ON  VALENTINES DAY 2021

Self-Inquiry Practice (Who Am I?) 

1. Bring mindfulness to what you are doing, either during formal meditation or simply by following the breath in daily life. 

2. Be attentive to what you are feeling, or bring attention to the heart space by following the breath with attention. 

3. Ask yourself, “Who am I?” 

4. Feel the answer, since this is not something the mind can answer. Do not follow thoughts about who you are even if they are spiritual thoughts. 

5. Feel who you are. Notice the unchanging stillness or presence within you. Rest your attention in this space. 

6.Relax into the unknown space of the heart. This is where Truth is revealed. 

7. To deepen the self-inquiry practice during formal meditation or in daily life ask the following questions:  “Who is feeling? Who is thinking? Who is seeing? Who is doing? Who is experiencing?” And, even “Who is seeking?” Again, feel the answer in your heart. 

The Inner Witness

With a few techniques and trusting my own experiences, I was learning that all things were passing phenomena. This did not mean that I had lost interest in life. Meditation was helping me become more observant of what was going on around me, and a sense of spaciousness was growing within me. This spaciousness was helping me tune into the internal observer, or inner witness of my own feelings, body sensations, thoughts, and reactions. 

This inner witness was present during meditation sessions, during my work and personal life, including while I was talking with others. I found that I was more present to what was going on around me, with less energy directed at creating a story about things. 

Life started taking on a richness that had not existed before. I was fully engaged in life, yet there was a surreal or dreamlike aspect about my daily routines and habits that I was finding easier to tap into. Events taking place around me were taking on a slow-motion quality. This was not because things were actually moving slower, but because there was a greater awareness of my own internal reactions or sense of presence. The fear of everyday existence and whether something unexpected or bad was going to happen was greatly diminished. 

When Venkataraman, later known as Ramana Maharshi, first arrived to Tiruvannamalai as a teenager he mostly sat absorbed in a samadhi, or heightened meditation state. He nestled himself in a tiny room within a dark basement of the ancient Arunacheleswara Temple and lived there. Despite the relentless insects, rodents, and other teens that would physically harass him, he sat unmoving. Finally, a kind hearted man took pity on him, recognizing him as an advanced soul. Ramana was assisted in relocating to a mango grove where he stayed until settling into the caves of Arunachala. 

"The swami painted our foreheads in traditional Hindu fashion with red, white, and black ash and included us in a blessing ceremony. We were led deeper and deeper into the temple, passing several small fire offerings until we approached the innermost shrine room. It became profoundly quiet. My body was lulled deeper through the winding path into the most inner sanctum. Several Hindu worshipers had gathered around a large, black sacred lingam, their object of devotion. A lingam or Shiva Linga is a phallic-shaped statue said to represent the creative powers of the Universe. We joined the others in the mysterious darkness within the temple’s belly. Suddenly, it became light with a vibrant energy. I looked for the source of light but I could not identify anything to account for the brightness." ~Bringing Home the Mountain-Finding the Teacher Within.

"Today I am filled with such a peaceful, radiating energy. I feel at home here, as though I could spend the rest of my life here by the Mountain. Thank goodness, the Mountain is within me as the Self. The power of Arunachala is mysteriously beyond all understanding and words.” ~Bringing Home the Mountain-Finding the Teacher Within.

The above quote describes my first union with the Mountain, and the subsequent journey into the heart that began that day. 

But, why this Mountain?

It is difficult to explain the spiritual vibration of this 1,600 foot mountain, or sacred hill, called Arunachala. It is located in the Southern State of Tamil Nadu and is said to be part of the oldest mountain range in the world. Hindus believe Arunachala embodies the Hindu God Shiva; thus, it has been an important pilgrimage destination for over a thousand years. Ramana Maharshi first came to Arunachala as a teen following his awakening, and lived there until his death in 1950. This was the reason I had come, as Ramana's ashram is located at its base. However, it wasn't until arriving to Tiruvannamalai did I experience the intense energy of this mountain. My heart felt expansive and pounded with a primal force. I yearned to move closer, to fall into complete union. My gaze was entranced by its splendor, as though I had fallen instantly in love. I knew I was home. I had come home to my own heart. The Mountain and I were One. This was the true beginning of finding my spiritual heart.

The pull of the mountain invited me to return for a second pilgrimage, and eventually inspired me to write a book about what I experienced in the caves where Ramana Maharshi once lived. It is my sincere hope that other seekers will benefit from my experiences and teachings, and more quickly recognize and move past the key roadblocks I struggled with. With the upmost gratitude I extend my heart in thanks to the teachings of Ramana Maharshi, the magical experiences that were bestowed upon me, and to my teachers who helped, coached, and pushed me to go ever deeper on the journey to discover my true nature, my own heart. Om Arunachala Shiva. Om. May we all awaken the spiritual heart within us. 
www.awakeningthespiritualheart.com

Going into the Heart within the Caves of Ramana Maharshi and Arunachala...

My time in the Caves of Arunachala, especially Ramana's Lover Cave, my favorite, was spent working with emotions. As I would slip into the deep abyss of meditation, blissful states would come and go, as would long-forgotten memories from my childhood. Numerous hours were spent simply 'being with what is,' and have enhanced my life beyond words. I discovered a life-changing technique, which I share extensively in my book 'Bringing Home the Mountain-Finding the Teacher Within.' By using the breath to move into the space of contraction, meaning feelings of constriction, painful or stifled emotional states, without avoiding what is experienced, we have endless opportunities to break through the painful barriers of separation to freedom.

I’ve often been asked what is the most valuable spiritual lesson I learned when meditating in the caves of Arunachala. My answer: Acceptance. First a little history to set the stage: There are two caves in particular that I spent time in, each is located on the sacred hill called Arunachala in Tiruvannamalia, India. The modernized caves are managed nicely by the Sri Ramanasramam, Sri Ramana Maharhi's Ashram. The short story is Ramana Maharshi was born in 1879, became enlightened and ran away from his family at age sixteen so he could live as an aesthetic by Arunachala. He first lived in the nearby Arunachaleswara Temple, then in a mango grove, before finally moving into the caves. He eventually moved off the hill to the ashram and left his physical body in 1950. Arunachala, and the caves, seem to emulate some unexplained mysterious energy. Visitors to the caves are fully welcome, as this was Ramana Maharshi's way. There are woven meditation cushions and mats, photos of Ramana Maharshi, flower offerings, incense, candles, and occasional chanting during blessing ceremonies. However, mostly there is the space and opportunity to sit in silent meditation and engage in whatever individual practice one wants.

For me, the caves became my sanctuary and a place of healing. Within the white plaster domed walls and ceilings of the caves, they provided a secure boundary for me to fully explore, bring to the surface, and deal with my most hidden emotions. Numerous hours were spent in meditation, often two to four hours during each sitting as I continued to challenge myself to go deeper. I applied a combination of meditation approaches including choiceless awareness, self-inquiry, abiding in spacious awareness, present moment awareness, and especially breathing through the sensations of resistance (contraction). I used techniques and insights gained through attending Vipassana retreats and following the breath, to now focusing on my inner world of feelings and perceptions. Just as I learned to observe how thoughts come and go, I started to do this with my emotional reactions and sensations. 

Eventually, I learned to welcome whatever was arising—thoughts, feelings, and sensations. I returned to the caves often. ‘Being with what is’ became my sole practice. Whatever story would rerun in my head from life back home in the states or even from years past, I welcomed the associated feelings and sensations into the space of my heart. Before long, my heart and body ached as if I was taking too much in. My past conditioning taught me how to transform feelings, or rather how to avoid what I was really feeling, such as anxiety, anger, rejection, confusion, etc. Mysteriously, I felt determined to do the opposite of what I’d learned to do all of my life. It was time for a show down with myself, come what be. My favorite cave, the oldest of the two called the Virupaksha Cave, was where this show down of the heart was going to take place and I knew it.

Instead of creating a positive mental image to replace what I was experiencing or to find refuge in spacious awareness, I fought the urge to escape from what was happening. I would stop myself from having my attention distracted or entranced by the scenery, people coming into the cave, or even a bug crawling on me—I did the opposite of my usual impulses. I sat unmoving and completely present to what is. I accepted whatever was being presented, moment by moment, whether the mind liked it or not. If I remembered something painful, felt anxiety or stiff legs, I let it be. And, by doing so, I learned something valuable about myself. The more I accepted life on its terms without trying to change it, the more I could be with life when it was uncomfortable. And, the more I accepted what was uncomfortable; paradoxically it no longer felt uncomfortable.

My heart opened. I felt expansive with love as I welcomed my own humanity, including any perceived flaws. I allowed my breath to lead me as I entered deeper and deeper realms and dimensions within my heart. It felt as though I entered an inner chamber of my own heart, and felt absolutely filled with love and gratitude. I felt a release of monumental proportions, with each breath a deeper surrender. Life was happening in whatever way it was and I was finally okay with it.

So, when I returned to “real” life, out of the caves, and back to my life and busy job in the states, I discovered my heart could expand to the roles I play. The caves of India taught me that acceptance is the key to freedom and happiness. While I learned much about myself during those often magical times, I learned the cave of my own heart is here always and ever ready to embrace life as it is. It welcomes it all despite what my mind may think. All that is required is to slow down, be present with what is going on around me, fully relax into whatever I am feeling, then breathe. 

By taking a single conscious breath, and letting thoughts go is enough to relax into the heart. Feelings of contraction are then nurtured by the space of expansion. This is where we are able to fully meet what life is presenting, and we never need to go anywhere. It is to simply remember and to hold willingness for the possibility of our hearts opening even further.

Acceptance is truly the key to living life with an open heart. May we embrace life as it is, and live with an willingness to fully know our own waiting heart. 

Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramana.

The blank page, entrenched with limitless possibility. Open venue, wide horizons, inviting the dance of spaciousness to kindle our unearthly-bound potential. Oh, the blank page. I love the blank page. Well of wisdom tapped by the untamed heart of the free spirit, whimsical swirling ink flares masquerading in the frenzy and resting of typing tempos. Moments of illuminated expression, the fire of the moon rising in the midst of tribal passion, risking only to be deleted and lost by the mind’s final edits. Oh, to simply breathe and awaken the heart of receptivity. Let the blank page soar in untamed abandon, lovers uniting in the cosmic meeting of unabashed writing. Oh how I love the blank page. Oh to welcome the blank page, letting its edges extend beyond the boundaries of rules, expectations, and the goal of the finished product. Oh to love the blank page, it's our invitation to go deeper giving voice to the mystery of all creation. Oh let us embrace the blank page and have it show us the way.

Shivananda 
(the bliss of Shiva).

Love is limitless when we fully open to it—It
just flows in and in endlessly.

Drawing: Inspired by a dream in 2012 while traveling in Thailand, after returning from India. Shiva is represented by the imposing Shivalinga blessed with sacred white and red ash, the holy hill of Arunachala (Ramana's true love) in the background dabbled with green and topped with white ash representing the endless and beautiful cycle of impermanence, and finally roses intertwined with the dancing swirls of Shiva's embrace showing the blessed and powerful union of Shiva Shakti.

First tell us a little about what went into your book: 
Cathy: 
I finished the first draft of the manuscript in 2005 following my first trip to the sacred mountain Arunachala. I returned in 2006 where I added journal entries that were for "my eyes only."  I wanted to make the book "real" to the spiritual search, so the book is a honest account of a path to awakening.
Please describe some unique aspects your book offers:
Cathy: 
1. By telling this story in chronological order, readers are taken on a colorful pilgrimage from meditation retreats in the U.S., walking with sadhus in the Himalayas, falling in love with a Mountain in India, to finally finding the teacher within in Bali. 
2. A variety of meditation techniques and spiritual teachings are weaved into the book, so the reader can explore a variety of practices to help them begin or deepen their spiritual practice. 
3. Common spiritual roadblocks such as giving thoughts authority, and the dance of the student-teacher relationship are included to normalize these struggles on the path, along with specific teachings and insights that proved helpful on the way.
4. Throughout my spiritual search, I worked a full-time job as a social worker. I share a variety of practices used to bring spirituality to daily life.
5. Working through a variety of emotions proved freeing on my path. I share what I learned intuitively in the caves of India, and how these techniques can be used in daily life. 
6. I followed a path of devotion balanced with the practices of self-inquiry, otherwise known as the search for truth. I describe both paths, and how in the end they converge and lead to the end of seeking.
Thank you:
It is my greatest hope that this book finds those who can most benefit from its encouraging message: We are what we seek. Consciousness is ever present right now!

Enjoy.